[something clever and obscure here]

Is there a demon in my computer or is it just StickyKeys?

do you know what time it is?

I'm hiding in my cave, and I'm not coming out.

I had a dream I was eaten by alligators. I didn't actually get to the munching part. I woke up scared before teeth pierced my skin. There were thousands of alligators (though there could have been crocodiles, too) and at least one dinosaur. I was flying low over them, but not in a plane or anything, more like a flying carpet, something I could easily fall out of, and I wasn't driving. It was my co-worker, Robin (the one pushing me in a shopping cart). I don't normally think of her as doing things to endanger me.

Once I woke up, I couldn't get Death out of my mind. I couldn't just brush away the feeling I had when I knew I would perish. I think about death on other days, especially when I'm driving to work down I-4. I think, "I could die in a car accident." "I'd be okay with that." And more and more lately, I actually believe that. I would hate to leave the people who love me, but I'd be dead, so I really wouldn't care. Not this morning, though. I was afraid. I didn't want to be attacked and ripped to shreds. (People actually die that way! Here's a recent story from the town I live in: Man's Arm Found in Alligator Stomach.) When I awoke, I didn't want to die at all, ever, but I knew I would, and I hated life because of it.

I expect that feeling to fade as the sun comes up. I know that it will. I'll eat something and drive to work and it will be a day like any other. I'll be able to convince myself deep down inside that nothing is going to happen to me ever, and all the bad stuff is made up. War, shark attacks, genocide, school shootings: that's not real, that's just TV. Could you please turn it back to South Park? I'm tired of hearing about Terri Schiavo. She's in a Permanent Vegetative State, why would she want to live that way?

posted by Amelia   6:23 AM

I saw the semi-finals in Chapel Hill on Saturday. It was cold, we were four, and coats were three, so I didn't partake in a grand amount of merry-making and bonfire-jumping on Franklin St. Of course I'm talking about the NCAA Men's B-Ball tournament, and the pair of not-so-exciting games which resulted in the auspicious #1 v. #2 game I'll be watching tonight. Go 'Heels!